The Year Of Firsts

My brother's family is into their year of firsts. My nephew had his first birthday without his Mom. Today is her first birthday in glory, their first without her. Two weekends ago was the first time we went to the Midland fair without her. Last weekend was the first time we had our kids photographed without her. Soon will come the first day of school, their anniversary, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays. Each will be a milestone, each will have their own particular hollow feeling, another reminder of the loss. For her birthday, they are going to be looking for the right headstone for her. We are trying to make this transition as smooth as possible, but mostly that is distraction through being with them and love. But now the reality of the situation is becoming more understandable for the kids. For now we can still hear her voice, still think of it as Scott & Pam's house (but trying not to slip and say it around them), but memories will fade.

I felt the need to make a CD for my bro. I don't know how good it will be for him, but maybe it can provide a soundtrack for mourning, reminders of comfort and hope, and provide an expression to feeling. Here is the songlist and artists, you can find the lyrics online for the most part to get the message and maybe flow of the CD. My question is what songs would you put on/want on a CD like this? Many of mine will be obscure, and probably unfamiliar, but what ones did I miss? If you have time and interest let me know what you think.

"Come And Listen" by David Crowder Band
"Dear Rosalynn" by Billy Sprague
"Sing In Portuguese" by Randy Stonehill
"Brokeness" by David Meece
"Beauty For Ashes" by Crystal Lewis
"Early In The Morning" by David Meece
"The Victor" by Keith Green
"For The One Who Sleeps" by Billy Sprague
"Come Awake" by David Crowder Band
"If We Never Meet Again This Side Of Heaven" by Johnny Cash
"Heaven Is A Long Hello" by Billy Sprague
"See You In Heaven" by Guardian
"Waiting For The Day" by Billy Sprague
"I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me
"Your Faithfulness" by Brian Doerkerson
"Lead Of Love" by Caedmon's Call
"We'll Meet Again" by Johnny Cash

Songs that almost made the cut, but the CD wasn't big enough.
"Blue Believer" by James Ward* This one really bothered me being cut
"This Time Around" by Christ Rodriguez
"I Must Tell Jesus" by Crystal Lewis
"After The Hurricane" by David Mullen

Let's Talk Turkey.....Well......Death

Last Thursday after battling cancer my sister-in-law passed away. She left behind 4 young children (the oldest turned 10 last Friday), my brother who is now a single parent, and an extended family not ready to let her go at only 40+ years old. She had been asking God for time to graduate her kids, and for whatever reason the answer was "No". My deep thought at this moment essentially comes down to, "this stinks". I like to think I understand the "why" from a Christian perspective, but when that leaves my nephew and nieces without a mom, and my brother without a wife, than it certainly bears a re-examining. This was supposed to be a single, longer post, but right now I can't handle the rawness of emotions stirred up. So maybe it would be better to begin stringing out thoughts a little at a time, and maybe that is a journey you will find worth taking with me.

From The Soul's Sincere Desire by Glenn Clark

When Hercules wrestled with Antaeus he found that every time he threw him down upon the ground the enemy arose stronger than before. But when he discovered that Gaea--the Earth--was the mother of the giant, and that every time her son fell back upon her bosom he rose with renewed strength, then Hercules changed his tactics. Lifting Antaeus high in the air, away from the source of strength, he held him there till he brought him into subjection.

We, who are not children of Earth but children of God, could learn much from the lesson of Antaeus. We too, whenever troubles cast us back upon the bosom of our Father, rise with renewed strength. But just as Antaeus let Hercules, who was smaller in stature than he, lift him away from the source of his power, so circumstances, infinitely small and trivial, may drag us away from God. Troubles, misfortunes, disappointments, and handicaps, if they but throw us back upon God, if they merely give us opportunity of bringing into play our God-directed imagination and our heaven-blessed sense of humor, may become converted into marvelous good fortune. For trouble, if it merely turns us to God and hence renews our strength, ceases to be evil, and becomes good; it becomes the best thing that could possibly come to us, next to God himself. For our growth in power and happiness depends upon the number of seconds out of each twenty-four hours that we are resting in God.

Preaching Jesus

Recently I have been thinking about preaching, and what are we preaching really when being honest. It seems like when Jesus is being reacted to there was either an intense reaction of agreement or an intense reaction of disgust. How is it when so many of us preach now, there is no reaction other than "good sermon Pastor"? Could it be possible that we are not truly preaching Jesus, but preaching about Jesus or biblical historical facts or the sins of other people or how knows what. Let's face it, Jesus is compelling. He is powerful. He does not let us sit on the fence or get a pat on the back for a good sermon. He convicts, He loves so fiercely it hurts, He connects the preaching to His life, He guts us and puts us back together God's way.

People go to church for many reasons. Most of those reasons don't seem to include being loyal to Christ as much as church as they know it. It is hard to innovate, be creative, and break away from what we know so that the message of Jesus comes through clearly. May God give us leaders of His church the power and audacity to dream big, innovate, and communicate the message Jesus so that we can let people fall in love with Jesus or walk away in disgust knowing they came into contact with the real deal.

Sticking With It And Believing

If you have read my last post, then you may be wondering what's going on. It seems that right now I am being reminded of just how selfish and self-centered I am. This process of dying to self is hard, especially if you are an especially self important person. What is important right now, getting my ministry running again, or making a difference in the lives of 10,000 unchurched teens in my county? What is important, recovering from the hurt and despair caused by actions of people around me or healing the damage done to God's Kingdom, and getting back on track to becoming a safe place for people to meet Jesus? A place where people believe they can meet Jesus. My life has been going from one selfish choice to another, but the whole time thinking it is sacrificial or God honoring choices first. Hopefully we can break this cycle, not for my sake, but for the hurting people God created my church to reach.

In the end, it all comes down to choice. What am I going to choose to do today? Am I going to choose to hang on to God with everything I have, or am I going to listen to friends/my selfish desires and push God out? It can be difficult to hang on, but it is more dangerous to give up and let go. Persevere, and you will be taught a great, deep, and abiding faith that can move mountains.

A Slice Of Life

Hey, it seems like it is important to stay positive and believe in good things going on. It also seems like there are times when that seems just not possible. Most of life often takes place in the middle of those two poles. A different wrinkle is that when you are in a leadership position your ability to speak those becomes hampered, because it is important not to tank anything further. The law of gravity works towards a group's momentum as well, it is easier to drag it down than to lift it up. Basically it feels like my group is on a bad skid that no one really wants to break out of it. Of the readers of this infrequent blog, does anyone have any advice on how to break out of something like this on a personal level? It is hard not to personalize all this, and it seems like I am failing. Warning though, no "pat" answers, no easy answers, and no "church" answers.

Prayers For The Christian Year by William Barclay

Grant, O God, that no false teaching may ever have any power to decieve us or to seduce us from the truth.
Grant, O God, that we may never listen to any teaching which would dethrone Jesus Christ from the topmost place;
Grant, O God, that we may never listen to any teaching which for its own purposes perverts the truth.
O God, our Father, establish us immovably in the truth.
Give us minds which can see at once the difference between the true and the false;
Make us able to test everything, and to hold fast to that which is good;
Give us such a love of truth,that no false thing may ever be able to lure us from it.
So grant that all our lives we may know, and love, and live the truth; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen

Ban New Year's Resolutions

In so many ways, I dislike New Year's Resolutions. My sneaky title was just to get your attention, because people can do what they want and it is good to have some goals. But thinking through this stuff, there are a couple of things that come to my mind about this idea or some common goals.

One that Christians do often is "get closer to God." This one is particularly annoying to me on many different levels. No resolution is worthwhile if you have to ask a follow-up question like, "what does that mean?". Often people will say something like, read their Bible more, attend church more regularly, pray, etc. Those are depressing answers to me. Firstly, I believe the Christ died and was resurrected to make the payment for our sins, or actions that disobey God, and then gave the gift of the Holy Spirit to live within us and guide us. If the Holy Spirit (God) is living within us, then we can't get any closer to God than that! What if the goal would be changed to "becoming more like Jesus"? That would be much more practical, and could be broken down easier because there is a definite standard involved. For instance that means you will be less selfish (serve your spouse, forgive easier, put other people's needs ahead of your own, to serve not be served), do something to bring justice to your corner of the world (volunteer at a shelter, tutoring, speaking out against mean jokes, helping an elderly neighbor), and love the unlovable. Not only are these tangible goals, they are meaningful, so no one can complain about and make you into a better person.

More Deep Thoughts Of Others That Make Me Think

"Merely to repeat his words is not to continue his work; we must reproduce his life, passion and death. He desires to live again in each one of his disciples in order that he may continue to suffer, to bestow himself, and to labor in and through them towards the redemption of humanity, until all prodigal and lost children be found and brought back to their Father's house. Thus it is that, instead of being removed far from human history, the life and death of Christ once more take their place in history, setting forth the power of redemptive sacrifice, transform and govern it, and direct it towards its divine end." ---From "The Atonement" by Auguste Sabatier as quoted in The Double Search by Rufus M. Jones

How much more difficult is it to not just repeat the words of Christ, but to live out His new life in our own. To live out the parable of Fall, for new life to begin the old must wither and blow away. The beautiful colors of dying leaves matches the beauty of selfish desires and destructive patterns we conform to and in all honesty love. It is really no wonder why Ghandi said "I like your Christ, I do not like you Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." What a tremendously true statement, that points to our need to become less so Christ can become greater. To many Christians (myself included) want to take hold of the crown without the cross first. May we learn to live out Jesus while we still have time.

Finally, A New Post

I started up using a devotion again, "A Guide To Prayer" put out by the Upper Room. Today God really knocked my socks off (in a loving way). Here are some quotes from some Jesus lovers.

"The spiritual life is not a life before, after, or beyond our everyday existence. No, the spiritual life can only be real when it is lived in the midst of the pains and joys of the here and now. Therefore we need to begin with a careful look at the way we think, speak, feel, and act from hour to hour, day to day, week to week, and year to year, in order to become more fully aware of our hunger for the Spirit. As long as we have only a vague inner feeling of discontent for our present way of living, and only an indefinite desire for "things spiritual," our lives will continue to stagnate in a very generalized melancholy. We often say, "I am not very happy. I am not content with the way my life is going. I am not really joyful or peaceful, but I just don't know how things can be different, and I guess I have to be realistic and accept my life as it is." It is this mood of resignation that prevents us from actively searching for the life of the Spirit.

Our first task is to dispel the vague, murky feeling of discontent and to look critically at how we are living our lives. This requires honesty, courage, and trust. We must honestly unmask and courageously confront our many self-deceptive games. We must trust that our honesty and courage will lead us not to despair, but to a new heaven and a new earth." from Making All Things New by Henri Nouwen

"The words of the Lord are the seed sown by the sower. Into our hearts they must fall that they may grow. Meditation and prayer must water them, and obedience keep them in the sunlight. Thus will they bear fruit for the Lord's gathering." from Life Essential by George MacDonald

"The Lord never came to deliver men from the consequences of their sins while yet those sins remained: that would be to cast out of the window the medicine of cure while yet the man lay sick; to go dead against the very laws of being. Yet men, loving their sins, and feeling nothing of the dread hatefulness, have, consistent with their low condition, constantly taken this word concerning the Lord {http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%201:21&version=31#en-NIV-23166} to mean that he came to save them from the punishment of their sins. This idea---this miserable fancy, rather---has terribly corrupted the preaching of the gospel. The message of the good news has not been truly delivered.

The mission of Jesus was from the same source and with the same object as the punishment of our sins. He came to work along with our punishment. He came to side with it, and set us free from our sins. No man is safe from hell until he is free from his sins; free of them, hell itself would be endurable to him." From Life Essential by George MacDonald

May they cause you to think about God and life as they have mine.

Traveling and Prayers

Hey, we are going to be traveling about 14 hours overall to Lake Traverse Reservation to Sisseton, SD. We are working with Youthworks, http://www.youthworks.com a great team to work with. Please be in prayer. We want God to work in our lives, and speak clearly as a team. This is a week that should be devoted to Him. Thanks for your prayers.

Timing and Trust

God has great, some might even call perfect, timing in life. He sees the large picture, and will orchestrate accordingly. We are only able to see the tiniest slice of the situation. I firmly believe that God takes us along in life in a meandering fashion to build our character and prepare us for the big struggles to come.

Sin is a church way of saying screw-up or disobedience. If God sees the whole picture, and wants the best for us in all areas of our life, then it makes sense to listen to Him and obey Him. But there is such a great degree of trust needed to follow Him that closely. There are times where we have no choice (when circumstances take us out of our control) that we can obey, but usually it is tough to trust. Someone in my life is being a great example trusting God by paying down his checking account to almost nothing to support ministries and God's Kingdom. It doesn't make sense, unless you can trust in the hands that created the world, and can hold the waters of the ocean in the hollow of His palm. There is a big difference failing for being disobedient, and failing by obeying so that God can prepare us for our best life. If God is big and powerful, then we would be foolish not to trust Him with everything we have. So how much do our actions show we actually trust.

Hopefully when people look at my life, and my actions, they will see someone trusting in God, and God's way of doing things.

Control

Janet Jackson's title song off of her 1986 album, Control, spoke of Independence from every one's expectations that were close to her. Here are the lyrics:

This is a story about control, my control
Control of what I say, control of what I do
And this time I'm gonna do it my way
I hope you enjoy this as much as I do
Are we ready? I am? Cause it's all about control
And I've got lots of it

When I was 17, I did what people told me
Did what my father said, and let my mother mold me
But that was long ago

Chorus:
I'm in control, never gonna stop
Control, to get what I want
Control, I got to have a lot
Control, now I'm all grown up

First time I fell in love
I didn't know what hit me
So young and so naive
I thought it would be easy
But now I know I've got to take...

Repeat Chorus

That's right, I'm on my own,
I'll call my own shots, thank you

Bridge:
Got my own mind
I wanna make my own decisions
When it has to do with my life, my life
I wanna be the one in control
So let me take you by the hand
And lead you on this dance
Cause what I've got is because I took a chance
I don't wanna rule the world
Just wanna run my life
So make your life a little easier
When you get the chance just take...

Repeat Chorus

Free at last, out here on my own
Now control this
That's right, career moves
I do what's right for me
And me wants to groove
Is that ok?

Repeat Bridge

Hop to it
I'm in control (and I love it, that's right)
Control, now I've got a lot
Control, now I'm all grown up
I'm in control, I'm in control
Don't make me lose it

So much of what we do in life is trying to gain control. Control of what people think about me, control of how I use my money, control of my job expectations, control of what my significant other treats me, etc. Often people talk about power, freedom, money, or time with the real goal being control of life, control of everything. People (everyone) will lie, cheat, steal, and/or push people around to feel like being in control. When we do that, we are trying to communicate that we are perfect, don't need grace or forgiveness, and that we are God (because we don't make mistakes, need help, or need any one else). Love turns into manipulation, trying to get what we want from someone else. Friendships turn into using people for what they can offer us. Trying to stay in control makes people things to be used for our own personal happiness.

God calls us to something better, an understanding that we are not in control. We need others, and they are every bit as valuable as we are, which means their happiness is as important as ours. That means we need to submit to others, trust them to help us on our journey, and value them as equals. It is difficult, scary, full of troubles, but often worth every step of the way.

Control freaks lead to hypocrisy, trying to create spin control rather honest conversation. People hate hypocrites, and don't want to deal with liars. Many people have judged Jason Giambi, Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds as cheaters and liars for using performance enhancing drugs. They say things like, "they should just admit it, and retire." It drives me nuts to hear that kind of judgement, because would we be willing to take that step of bravery and courage? How many of us lie over things less important than that? It is easy to treat them as objects rather than people from our position of being outside of the fish bowl. How about we all make the choice to be real, give up control and pride to let God do His part and make the world a better place. It starts with one person making the right choice, will you be willing to do that?

Deep Thoughts..........By Me.

Have you ever wanted to share a great thought? Maybe something that can be shared and touch a life? Tonight is not that night for me. It seems like my streak of thoughts worth sharing is broken for a time. Here is what I am thinking about, and why. Currently the movie Luther is on, a really good movie taking a look at Martin Luther, the reformer, and his times. It is very illuminating to myself to see the outrages of the Christian church then lived out on screen. To see the wonderful message of Christ, about a God who loves us dearly and wants to live with us for Eternity, turned into a money making scheme about earning heaven and rewards from God. But it makes so much sense to do something, or go some a quest, or pay for the joys of heaven. It is a system that makes sense to us, until we look at just how far removed from reality our ability to repay such a debt is. It is simply better not to try and insult the generous King by demanding to pay. We should allow God to bring this great message to as many people as possible out of gratitude. That is the reason we reach out, not because we are avoiding hell by paying our dues, but by passing along God's great love. We should not allow ourselves to become jaded or forgetful of this great love, but always renew by passing along. It is truly a renewable resource.

Forgiveness And The Friendly, Neighborhood Spider-man

This week, our church did a service on Forgiveness using the Spider-man 3 movie. It's title was the Web of Revenge, and focused upon how we need to offer more forgiveness instead of getting caught up into payback, bitterness, anger, and grudges. This is a message I identify with, and is so important to life. What if we truly believed that God's way is always the best way and let go of our frustrations that create baggage in our lives and weigh us down. This week I want to have a discussion with a friend who hurt me and hopefully reconcile a long past wound. Even if he is not interested, it will still be best if I can forgive him and let the power of darkness end its hold in my heart in this area.

The Difference Between Listening And God Getting Your Attention

Well, I have been thinking for awhile about getting a day away to listen for God's call on the life of myself, my family, and my ministry. But it never seems to be convienent, even though it is necessary to wade through what I want to find out what God is actually calling me to do or be. Over the past couple of months, I have had to face a better, more exact picture of who I am, which is really not fun. But through this process the message has always been God's love and witholding this picture until it is the best time to deal with all the baggage that's accumulated. And through this process it has become apparent that a time to seek God is necessary. But I still haven't got around to doing it.

Which leads me to point two. If God is ignored long enough, He beings to get your attention. My 8 month old son does that by screaming full volume, kicking, and banging around. God isn't as blatant always, but sometimes He can do that. He is making it clear through our circumstances, our church finances, that it is time to listen and go to do His work. So now it becomes more imperative to stop and listen for the next step in our journey. God never promised easy, or uncomplicated lives, and this is a small thing to deal with in the big picture. But, He still has gotten my attention.

Inaugeral Post

Here is the first post of this blog. I felt compelled to start this blog so I could access a friends blog without going through the website that is not working well since I didn't bookmark his blog site. So here it is, and maybe we can use this for something positive in life. This totally could have been avoided by knowing how to search the blogosphere properly