Control

Janet Jackson's title song off of her 1986 album, Control, spoke of Independence from every one's expectations that were close to her. Here are the lyrics:

This is a story about control, my control
Control of what I say, control of what I do
And this time I'm gonna do it my way
I hope you enjoy this as much as I do
Are we ready? I am? Cause it's all about control
And I've got lots of it

When I was 17, I did what people told me
Did what my father said, and let my mother mold me
But that was long ago

Chorus:
I'm in control, never gonna stop
Control, to get what I want
Control, I got to have a lot
Control, now I'm all grown up

First time I fell in love
I didn't know what hit me
So young and so naive
I thought it would be easy
But now I know I've got to take...

Repeat Chorus

That's right, I'm on my own,
I'll call my own shots, thank you

Bridge:
Got my own mind
I wanna make my own decisions
When it has to do with my life, my life
I wanna be the one in control
So let me take you by the hand
And lead you on this dance
Cause what I've got is because I took a chance
I don't wanna rule the world
Just wanna run my life
So make your life a little easier
When you get the chance just take...

Repeat Chorus

Free at last, out here on my own
Now control this
That's right, career moves
I do what's right for me
And me wants to groove
Is that ok?

Repeat Bridge

Hop to it
I'm in control (and I love it, that's right)
Control, now I've got a lot
Control, now I'm all grown up
I'm in control, I'm in control
Don't make me lose it

So much of what we do in life is trying to gain control. Control of what people think about me, control of how I use my money, control of my job expectations, control of what my significant other treats me, etc. Often people talk about power, freedom, money, or time with the real goal being control of life, control of everything. People (everyone) will lie, cheat, steal, and/or push people around to feel like being in control. When we do that, we are trying to communicate that we are perfect, don't need grace or forgiveness, and that we are God (because we don't make mistakes, need help, or need any one else). Love turns into manipulation, trying to get what we want from someone else. Friendships turn into using people for what they can offer us. Trying to stay in control makes people things to be used for our own personal happiness.

God calls us to something better, an understanding that we are not in control. We need others, and they are every bit as valuable as we are, which means their happiness is as important as ours. That means we need to submit to others, trust them to help us on our journey, and value them as equals. It is difficult, scary, full of troubles, but often worth every step of the way.

Control freaks lead to hypocrisy, trying to create spin control rather honest conversation. People hate hypocrites, and don't want to deal with liars. Many people have judged Jason Giambi, Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, and Barry Bonds as cheaters and liars for using performance enhancing drugs. They say things like, "they should just admit it, and retire." It drives me nuts to hear that kind of judgement, because would we be willing to take that step of bravery and courage? How many of us lie over things less important than that? It is easy to treat them as objects rather than people from our position of being outside of the fish bowl. How about we all make the choice to be real, give up control and pride to let God do His part and make the world a better place. It starts with one person making the right choice, will you be willing to do that?