The Year Of Firsts

My brother's family is into their year of firsts. My nephew had his first birthday without his Mom. Today is her first birthday in glory, their first without her. Two weekends ago was the first time we went to the Midland fair without her. Last weekend was the first time we had our kids photographed without her. Soon will come the first day of school, their anniversary, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and birthdays. Each will be a milestone, each will have their own particular hollow feeling, another reminder of the loss. For her birthday, they are going to be looking for the right headstone for her. We are trying to make this transition as smooth as possible, but mostly that is distraction through being with them and love. But now the reality of the situation is becoming more understandable for the kids. For now we can still hear her voice, still think of it as Scott & Pam's house (but trying not to slip and say it around them), but memories will fade.

I felt the need to make a CD for my bro. I don't know how good it will be for him, but maybe it can provide a soundtrack for mourning, reminders of comfort and hope, and provide an expression to feeling. Here is the songlist and artists, you can find the lyrics online for the most part to get the message and maybe flow of the CD. My question is what songs would you put on/want on a CD like this? Many of mine will be obscure, and probably unfamiliar, but what ones did I miss? If you have time and interest let me know what you think.

"Come And Listen" by David Crowder Band
"Dear Rosalynn" by Billy Sprague
"Sing In Portuguese" by Randy Stonehill
"Brokeness" by David Meece
"Beauty For Ashes" by Crystal Lewis
"Early In The Morning" by David Meece
"The Victor" by Keith Green
"For The One Who Sleeps" by Billy Sprague
"Come Awake" by David Crowder Band
"If We Never Meet Again This Side Of Heaven" by Johnny Cash
"Heaven Is A Long Hello" by Billy Sprague
"See You In Heaven" by Guardian
"Waiting For The Day" by Billy Sprague
"I Can Only Imagine" by Mercy Me
"Your Faithfulness" by Brian Doerkerson
"Lead Of Love" by Caedmon's Call
"We'll Meet Again" by Johnny Cash

Songs that almost made the cut, but the CD wasn't big enough.
"Blue Believer" by James Ward* This one really bothered me being cut
"This Time Around" by Christ Rodriguez
"I Must Tell Jesus" by Crystal Lewis
"After The Hurricane" by David Mullen

Let's Talk Turkey.....Well......Death

Last Thursday after battling cancer my sister-in-law passed away. She left behind 4 young children (the oldest turned 10 last Friday), my brother who is now a single parent, and an extended family not ready to let her go at only 40+ years old. She had been asking God for time to graduate her kids, and for whatever reason the answer was "No". My deep thought at this moment essentially comes down to, "this stinks". I like to think I understand the "why" from a Christian perspective, but when that leaves my nephew and nieces without a mom, and my brother without a wife, than it certainly bears a re-examining. This was supposed to be a single, longer post, but right now I can't handle the rawness of emotions stirred up. So maybe it would be better to begin stringing out thoughts a little at a time, and maybe that is a journey you will find worth taking with me.

From The Soul's Sincere Desire by Glenn Clark

When Hercules wrestled with Antaeus he found that every time he threw him down upon the ground the enemy arose stronger than before. But when he discovered that Gaea--the Earth--was the mother of the giant, and that every time her son fell back upon her bosom he rose with renewed strength, then Hercules changed his tactics. Lifting Antaeus high in the air, away from the source of strength, he held him there till he brought him into subjection.

We, who are not children of Earth but children of God, could learn much from the lesson of Antaeus. We too, whenever troubles cast us back upon the bosom of our Father, rise with renewed strength. But just as Antaeus let Hercules, who was smaller in stature than he, lift him away from the source of his power, so circumstances, infinitely small and trivial, may drag us away from God. Troubles, misfortunes, disappointments, and handicaps, if they but throw us back upon God, if they merely give us opportunity of bringing into play our God-directed imagination and our heaven-blessed sense of humor, may become converted into marvelous good fortune. For trouble, if it merely turns us to God and hence renews our strength, ceases to be evil, and becomes good; it becomes the best thing that could possibly come to us, next to God himself. For our growth in power and happiness depends upon the number of seconds out of each twenty-four hours that we are resting in God.

Preaching Jesus

Recently I have been thinking about preaching, and what are we preaching really when being honest. It seems like when Jesus is being reacted to there was either an intense reaction of agreement or an intense reaction of disgust. How is it when so many of us preach now, there is no reaction other than "good sermon Pastor"? Could it be possible that we are not truly preaching Jesus, but preaching about Jesus or biblical historical facts or the sins of other people or how knows what. Let's face it, Jesus is compelling. He is powerful. He does not let us sit on the fence or get a pat on the back for a good sermon. He convicts, He loves so fiercely it hurts, He connects the preaching to His life, He guts us and puts us back together God's way.

People go to church for many reasons. Most of those reasons don't seem to include being loyal to Christ as much as church as they know it. It is hard to innovate, be creative, and break away from what we know so that the message of Jesus comes through clearly. May God give us leaders of His church the power and audacity to dream big, innovate, and communicate the message Jesus so that we can let people fall in love with Jesus or walk away in disgust knowing they came into contact with the real deal.

Sticking With It And Believing

If you have read my last post, then you may be wondering what's going on. It seems that right now I am being reminded of just how selfish and self-centered I am. This process of dying to self is hard, especially if you are an especially self important person. What is important right now, getting my ministry running again, or making a difference in the lives of 10,000 unchurched teens in my county? What is important, recovering from the hurt and despair caused by actions of people around me or healing the damage done to God's Kingdom, and getting back on track to becoming a safe place for people to meet Jesus? A place where people believe they can meet Jesus. My life has been going from one selfish choice to another, but the whole time thinking it is sacrificial or God honoring choices first. Hopefully we can break this cycle, not for my sake, but for the hurting people God created my church to reach.

In the end, it all comes down to choice. What am I going to choose to do today? Am I going to choose to hang on to God with everything I have, or am I going to listen to friends/my selfish desires and push God out? It can be difficult to hang on, but it is more dangerous to give up and let go. Persevere, and you will be taught a great, deep, and abiding faith that can move mountains.

A Slice Of Life

Hey, it seems like it is important to stay positive and believe in good things going on. It also seems like there are times when that seems just not possible. Most of life often takes place in the middle of those two poles. A different wrinkle is that when you are in a leadership position your ability to speak those becomes hampered, because it is important not to tank anything further. The law of gravity works towards a group's momentum as well, it is easier to drag it down than to lift it up. Basically it feels like my group is on a bad skid that no one really wants to break out of it. Of the readers of this infrequent blog, does anyone have any advice on how to break out of something like this on a personal level? It is hard not to personalize all this, and it seems like I am failing. Warning though, no "pat" answers, no easy answers, and no "church" answers.

Prayers For The Christian Year by William Barclay

Grant, O God, that no false teaching may ever have any power to decieve us or to seduce us from the truth.
Grant, O God, that we may never listen to any teaching which would dethrone Jesus Christ from the topmost place;
Grant, O God, that we may never listen to any teaching which for its own purposes perverts the truth.
O God, our Father, establish us immovably in the truth.
Give us minds which can see at once the difference between the true and the false;
Make us able to test everything, and to hold fast to that which is good;
Give us such a love of truth,that no false thing may ever be able to lure us from it.
So grant that all our lives we may know, and love, and live the truth; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen